My Chocolate Devil

As anyone who knows me, and they don’t have to know me well, you’d be on the money to say that I have a chocolate substance abuse problem.

The signs are there for all to see. I make a beeline for the bowl of chocolate Smarties at a house party, I order the chocolate truffle cake for dessert at a restaurant, and I linger longer than most in the confectionery aisle at the supermarket.

But the biggest tell tale sign that I have a problem is noticeable every second Friday morning. The recycle truck thunders down the road just after breakfast, and as I stand out front with an excited little boy in my arms pointing to the “big truck”, the garbage man stops outside, lifts the lid to the wheelie bin and exclaims, “so you work for Cadbury’s do you, luv?”

Yes. There are literally packets upon packets of Cadbury Chocolate Mouse, my favourite, devoured whilst watching, ironically, The Biggest Loser, or eaten quietly after Max has gone to bed for his afternoon nap. It is meant to be ME time after all, right?

My devil in disguise

This stuff is PHENOMENAL. Do you have a strange but justified method of eating your chocolate? I do. I like to break off a triangle and eat the bottom off first. Then I slowly nibble the chocolate case away, little by little, until all I have left is the mouse filling. Now as you can imagine, this is very difficult to do on a warm summers day, as I’ve often discovered, when the soft and gooey mouse slips from my fingers and SPLATS down the middle of my cleavage, leaving a slimy trail. Lastly, I place the chocolate mouse centre delicately on my tongue and let the bubbles POP inside my mouth. (sigh) Heaven.

Now a real lady would never divulge just how many packets constitutes a “problem”, but suffice to say, were it not for my mothers fabulous genes, I would undoubtedly be the size of a house. Don't get me wrong, I would still love to shed a few kilo's, trim a few inches off the wobbly tummy, but thanks to my mum the chocolate doesn't seem to pad my trouble spots with too much determination. 




So I say, bugger it. You only live once. Sure it's not the best food for you to eat, but if it makes you happy, eat it. 


How do you eat yours?

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